The Fear...

So I saw the surgeon yesterday, dispite being referred wrong by the GP. He's told me to go away and research what I want doing.  The gastric band they tell me doesnt work long term, it moves or breaks after a bit of time. Other options are Gastric bypass or Gastric sleave, each one has risks, including a 1 in 400 risk or death, which isnt dying on the table, but later if the staples break, which will infect my body and kill me, or blood clotting.
The 1 in 400 is quiet a low number, which is scary. The surgeon said I was quiet healthy dispite being over weight and there shouldnt be a problem for me.
Both the gastric bypass and the sleave are preminent and cannot be reversed, which again is scary.
The surgeon is now writting back to the GP to refer me propley, and from start to finish its about 18 weeks. During that time I will see a phycologist, dietitian and go through pre operation tests.  All very scary stuff.

Waiting for doctor

I'm waiting in the doctors for my first appointment with the surgeon, I'm a little nervous, but excited on the start of my new life of thin, although I know there is a long road ahead, this is the start line.
It's amazing how people have tried to talk me out of doing this, but when I explain they tend to see this massive moment as a good thing. Life will be so Different at the end of this journey,  a journey of not only a change in life style but a complete change in me and everything which I have been for 39 years. This time next year I will be a totally different person, hopefully for the better.

What's annoying about being fat

This morning I have been listening to the radio while doing driving for work,  they had a guy on who used to be 35 Stone but has lost a lot of weight.  He spoke about how he consumed 7000 calories a day,  and didn't leave the house or do anything.   You read about people in magazines who used to eat 5 loafs of bread,  3 fish and chips and that was just lunch,  who suddenly lose lots of weight.
I man,  my size has a resting calorie burn of about 3500 calories,  that is if I do nothing that's how many calories my body uses to breath and live,  on top of that I am active when I don't go to gym and burn about 500 more calories off,  so that's 4000 calories.  When I visit the gym I burn off say another 500 calories.
So take the gym our of the equation if I eat less than 4000 calories a day,  I should loss weight.  
My diet consists of 1800 calories plus about a 1/4 of my burn calories,  so if I go to gym,  I can eat maybe 125 calories a day more than if I don't.  Yet my weight sticks.  
The problem is people read these magazines and hear these radio shows and judge all the fat people the same. 

Update so far

So I'm almost 40, and being vastly over weight the chances to living to 50 are quite low.    My problem is that I could lose half a stone a month,  but if I did,  without any slip ups,  I would still be considered over weight in 2 years.
In the last 3 months of deciding on a life change,  I have joined a gym,  and eaten better,  and have lost about 2 stone in weight.
I'm not sure where the 2 Stone has been lost from as its not my waist as my trousers are still the same size,  although my watch now uses a lower notch on it so only real noticeable place is my wrist,  or and sounds daft but my shoes are a little looser.
So I have been going to the gym, which the though of scared me a little,  because I imagined them with loads of fit people just staring,  the daft thing is I never imagined them with people just like me,  wanting to lose weight or fix there body's in some way,  only difference is,  I'm just a little bigger than the rest.
I have been referred for surgery options as well, and the main aim of this blog is to talk my way though the whole thing from being overweight and probably on verge of death to being somewhere near healthy.